


Beyond your eyes

by Sunkissednini



Category: zaintsee, เพราะรักใช่ป่าว | Why R U?: The Series (TV), เพราะรักใช่ป่าว | Why R U?: The Series (TV) RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Fluff and Smut, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Romantic Fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-04
Updated: 2020-10-04
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:09:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26821945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sunkissednini/pseuds/Sunkissednini
Summary: It’s been almost a year since HE is gone, but the heart still aches, and tears still come time to time with some memories of him. Saint doesn’t understand why life took him away and the only thing he left was his camera.
Relationships: Jimmy Karn Kritsanaphan/Tommy Sittichok Pueakpoolpol, Zee Pruk Panich/Saint Suppapong Udomkaewkanjana
Kudos: 19





	Beyond your eyes

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first work in this fandom, english it's not my first language so I'm sorry for any mistake.  
> I started writting this while listening to a sad song but don't be to sad, happy are coming.  
> Hope everyone enjoys this! :)

PHI SOUL!! – Saint screams

_Alarm sound… time to wake up (5:50 am)_

Saint wakes up shaken from a dream, tears down on his face. It felt so real, he was there walking by his side listening to him talking about this new recipe he wants to try for the bakery and suddenly when he finishes the list of ingredients he finds himself at the other side of the street alone, Saint turns around to see him across the street saying goodbye with that pretty smile that warmed his heart many times and then… That damn alarm clock

He wipes his face, gets out of his bed, and makes his way to the bathroom to clean his face. That every day routine it’s driving him crazy, he doesn’t get excited as before, he has to work to make a living, and he promised he wouldn’t give up, that’s the only reason. At least he would be strong.

His bakery opens at 8:30 am, and it’s a few blocks from his home, so he could sleep more, but it’s that time of the year when the sunrise gets those pretty colors he used to see with him so he keeps doing it alone. He likes to think that he is watching over him and he wants to show him he still cares. He even takes his camera with him, Saint never understood how to use it but it’s a part of him he can’t let go.

“You said you would never leave me” – Said Saint talking to the camera as if he was inside. He might look like he lost his mind sometimes, but it was his way to make his pain bearable. Talking to that thing made him less lonely, at first he only cried but now it’s been almost a year since he is gone and he knows he has to go on.

The bakery was his dream, he wanted to run a place where people could taste and love the desserts he made. He pours his heart in everything he cooks but lately he practically lives at the kitchen hiding from the world, that place it’s his own safe universe, away from people, from questions… from pity.

“Boss, I know we run out of strawberry cake, but there’s plenty enough desserts to sell, so you can stop cooking… we are kind of worried these days, because you spent your days here” – Said a shy voice from one of his employees, the shorter one

“Don’t worry too much guys. This is the last one, I swear phi Tommy” – Saint gives him a soft look and almost smiles a little to convince him.

Tommy didn’t buy it, but he knows these days won’t be easy for him. In three days it’s going to be a year since phi Soul’s death. “Okay, boss but if you don’t come out after that, I’ll ask Jimmy to drag you out” – Tommy said those words giving him a serious look.

He knows they worry, he get it… he wants to be okay too. When the cake it’s done, the oven’s beep announces it, it only takes him 5 minutes to add the final details, and then he covers it with a glass lid and walks out the kitchen without the cake.

“Boss! Tommy told me you were preparing a chocolate cake, ¿something went wrong?” – Jimmy said confused because Saint walked out empty handed

“Nope! I just wanted to share it with you two at the end of the day if you want” – Saint can’t afford a real smile yet but he tries to give one to Jimmy too

“Of course we want! You’re the best boss!” – Jimmy acts like he doesn’t notice his efforts faking that smile, to make him feel comfortable

It is finally closing time, tables are clean. Tommy is preparing coffee while Saint is cutting the cake in really big slices. That hasn’t change a little, sweets are still his weakness.

“Coffee is readyyyyyyy!!!” – Tommy walks toward them and sits beside Jimmy. Saint suspects that they’re dating and he wonders if they haven’t tell him because he is their boss or …because of Soul.

“Sooo… since when?” – Says Saint putting on his detective face, trying to make them reveal their secret

Tommy turns red immediately and looks at Jimmy telling him “WE GOT CAUGHT” with his eyes. Nobody would tell that Tommy is the elder between those two, acting so silly and shy whenever his near Jimmy.

“Come on! I won’t fire you, actually this cake it’s a congratulatory gift for you” – This time he really smiles for them not a wide one, but a smile after all

“Wow! It’s that a smile??? We should have told him earlier Tommy! I told you!!!” – Jimmy said patting on his boyfriend’s back

“Yeah, yeah… you are always right” – Tommy was pouting because he has to give in to Jimmy AGAIN

Saint couldn’t help but laugh, those two are not just his employees, he consider them friends also, but he has been apart from everyone that they were scared to tell him. Tommy and Jimmy were shocked by Saint’s laugh, they almost forgot how beautiful his face looks when he is happy.

Tommy stands up to hug him, then Jimmy follows.

“Thank you” – Begins Tommy

“For this beautiful congratulation gift you gave us” – Finishes Jimmy

“What? But you haven’t taste the cake yet” – Saint says feeling confused

“Not that one… I bet it’s delicious, but we mean this…” – Says Jimmy pinching on his cheeks to make his smile wider

“Ouch! Okay, okay, I get it, let’s eat the cake then, I’ve been craving on this one since it came out of the oven” – Says Saint trying to sound dramatic

They enjoyed every bite, and kept talking about how Jimmy was the one who took the first steps toward that shy and cute barista, he even got the job as a waiter there because he wanted to approach him.

“Guys, thank you for staying by my side all this time, I know I’ve been apart from you but I will try to be here for you from now on” – Saint felt he needed to apologize for being a bad friend.

“Saint, we understand you, there’s no need for you to feel bad about anything. You know we are not mad at you, right?” – Tommy smiled at him to let him know everything was fine.

Those three days went pretty fast, Saint felt his body heavier that morning, he wanted to spend the whole day hiding under his sheets, but Tommy and Jimmy were on their way to pick him up to go and pay respects to P' Soul. So he got up and took a cold shower to get rid of his weakness, dressed himself all in white, and waited a few minutes for his friends.

Saint's phone lit up with a message of Tommy

"We are outside, come down"

Saint took Soul's camera with him on his way out, and met them in front of his building.

"Thank you guys, I don't think I can make this by myself, but if I don't go I won’t forgive myself" - Saint looked really pale as if he didn't get to rest well.

Tommy reach his hand to him and place it on his shoulder "You can do this, you'll feel better you'll see, and if you need anything just tell us, we are here for you"

"White flowers, I want to give him white flowers"

On their way Saint didn't say a word, he just hold that camera and the white bouquet of roses.

Saint took some minutes to get out of the car, Tommy and Jimmy waited for him to be ready, the place was lonely, as Saint thought Soul's family didn't went to visit him. The circumstances and reasons of his death were difficult for most of them, the only one who visited him often was his mother, but she has been sick lately so she couldn't make it. So he was the only one for him that day.

Saint placed the flowers next to a picture of Soul. He was smiling widely, Soul rarely took pictures of himself he was always the man behind the lens of the camera, but that photo of him was perfect. Saint went on his knees to pray, Tommy and Jimmy followed him. After the prayer, Saint asked his friends for a moment, and they left him alone and waited for him a few meters away.

"Hey! How have you been? ...." - long silence, the camera hold in both of his hands

"I'm sorry it took me so long to come to see you" - his voice started to tremble

"I.... I, maybe I thought that not coming here made it less real" - he started to sob a little - "This world feel so lonely without you, but as I promise you a year ago, I'm doing my best at the bakery.... I've been watching the sunrise you know, those colors remind me of you and how much you loved them, but I think I'm gonna stop because it hurts so much" - this time his sobs more and his sight gets blurry

"I loved you so much.... I always will, but..." - his tears finally scape from his eyes- "but... until now, I feel I can finally forgive you for leaving me like this...' - he cries so hard that his friends get worried, but they promised to let him be unless he calls them. Tommy almost run to him but Jimmy stopped him.

"I know it was hard for you.... There was nothing I could do.... Even if you loved me the pain and suffering you went through were so much for a good person like you... You did nothing wrong.... you hear me... you were the most beautiful person I had known.... and that is enough for me to forgive... y, you" - He cried for a few minutes hugging the camera as if he was holding P'Soul, then he slowly stood up and walked toward his friends who received him with a warm hug.

"It's going to be okay" - said Jimmy while Tommy softly pats on his back

He planned to close the bakery that day, but he didn´t want to be alone at home, so he asked Jimmy to drive him there.

“I’ll handle everything by myself for today, don’t worry, I already promised you to take the day off” – Saint gets out of the car

“Are you sure?” – Said Tommy

“Mhm, yeah, really, I’m going to be okay. If I don’t feel right I’ll close the store, but I think I need to work today” – Saint waves at them with a soft smile and finally they drive away

A message from Tommy

_Let us know when you get home…_

Saint opened the Bakery, cleaned the tables, and placed the desserts on the display. A few people came in for take-out coffee and some little desserts. The day was cloudy, so there wasn’t many people walking on the street, as if the rain was about to fall. Fifteen minutes later the rain started pouring, so he was trapped at the store, he closed the front door assuming no one will come with that weather.

He went inside the kitchen to prepare something for lunch, when he heard a desperate knock on the door that startled him. He didn’t put up the closed sign, maybe it was a client.

He was walking toward the door to find a poor guy soaking wet in the middle of the rain. He ran to open the door and let him in.

“The weather broadcast said nothing about a rain today, I almost drowned outside, thank you” – The guy offered a smile to Saint, a pretty one actually that left him with no words

“Hey! Are you there? Are you real? Are you an angel that saved me?” – Said the guy giving a look on Saint’s white clothes. He looked like one with that beautiful face along with his whole outfit.

“What? No! I’m a person, see?” – Saint offers his hand

“Nice to meet you _Angel_ , you can call me Zee” – He holds Saint’s warm hand

“God you’re freezing, let me bring something to dry you” – He hurries to the kitchen and bring some towels, on his way back he walks to the employees lockers and takes one of Jimmy’s uniform shirts.

“Here, let me help you” – Saint offers him a chair in front of him and helps him dry his hair first, then he start cleaning his face without noticing the shock on Zee’s eyes.

“And you said, you were not an angel…” – Zee let out without thinking. At the end of those words, both get shy.

Saint gulped – “Sorry, I didn’t mean to… I, mmmm, take this shirt, you should change or you’ll catch a cold” – Saint felt so nervous

Zee took the shirt from his hand and started unbuttoning the one he was wearing

“WAIT! Not here… you can use the bathroom” – He screamed a little

“It’s okay, there is no one here”

_What are you saying? … I’M HEREE!!! – Saint said to himself_

He couldn’t help but notice the well-shaped body that was hiding under that Hawaiian shirt. Maybe he was staring too much, because his eyes meet Zee’s smiling at him. So he turns around to finally ask.

“I was about to eat lunch… would you mind join me?” – While he turned on the coffee machine, he guessed that Zee might want something hot to drink.

“Sure, if it’s okay for you, how much is it?” – Zee took his wallet but he got ignored by the angel in front of him

“It’s on the house… don’t worry” – Saint walks to the back of the store and a few minutes later he comes out with a pair of chicken sandwich seasoned with BBQ sauce.

“Wow, this looks delicious! Won’t you get in trouble with the boss for this free meal?” – Zee didn’t want to bother him, the least he can do for his guardian angel was pay for the food of both.

“Nah! The boss it’s a really nice guy, let’s eat” – He took a really big first bite, he was starving, he had no breakfast in the morning because he was so anxious.

“You know, I don’t mind calling you _Angel_ , but you haven’t told me your name” – Zee gave him a soft smile after that.

“Saint, my name is Saint” – He said while he avoided Zee’s gaze and kept eating

Zee noticed since he let him in, the swollen eyes of his angel, he wondered what can make that beautiful face cry that much. So if he couldn’t pay for the food he would at least make him smile.

“It suits you, as well as _Angel,_ are you sure you don’t have wings? – Zee said spreading his arms and moving them as if he had wings

Saint laughed a little to the shameless guy in front of him, he looked really funny moving his arms like that. “Yeah, I’m pretty sure” – Saint said turning a little to the side to let him see his back and confirm it – “Sorry to disappoint you” – He adds laughing a little more

“Okay, okay, but you have the looks, even more when you smile like that” – Saint can’t understand why this stranger is making him feel so comfortable and a bit shy. But it feels right to have help him.

“I’ll prepare some coffee, how do you like it?” – Zee grabs his wrist to stop him

“I’ll take care of that, what would you like to drink?” – A smile again, he gives them away so sincerely that makes him want to smile back.

“Under the counter, there is my storage of watermelon juice, one of those will be okay, thank you” – Zee stands up to bring their drinks, he leans down to find the storage Saint described, to his surprise right beside that little fridge he sees Soul’s camera.

“Is this?? Is this a α7R IV CAMERA???? Wow! Sorry, I lost it” – Zee said scratching the back of his head feeling embarrassed

“Mhm, it’s okay, you can see it if you want” – Saint’s face change a little when he says that, he almost forgot about that morning and the camera

“Really!!” – Zee hurries to bring their drinks to the table and goes back to grab the camera. He looks like a child excited about a new toy.

Saint observes him discovering every single detail about the camera. Zee looks at him asking for permission to turn it on. Saint nods at him, seeing him so happy about the camera brings memories.

Zee stands up and play with the camera, pointing different sides of the bakery, the desserts on the display, the decorative lamps and baskets with flowers pending from the roof, the rain falling down on the glass door. Then, he focus the camera on the Angel’s face, he is watching the rain pouring outside, the sadness is written in his eyes again, he takes a picture of him. Then he sits.

“Could you teach me?” – Saint cuts the silence

“Teach you?” – Zee is a little lost

“The camera, could you teach me how to use it?” – Saint gives him a sad smile, as if he is breaking inside and needs him to pull the pieces together again.

Zee nods without asking more questions. Now he knows how to payback his angel’s help.


End file.
